How to Stop Drinking
The theory…
How to stop drinking. How many times have I googled this, written, explored the science of alcohol, but then succumbed to its embrace again?
Too many.
I have been trying to save my marriage again, and that means disappearing into the bottle so I do not have to face up to the reality. He is determined to drink even when I do not.
It has been my downfall so many times.
Yesterday I pinched a bottle of his wine and drank it before church because he was insisting I went to church and I did not feel ready after my breakdown.
You see every year I relive my father’s death and my brother’s hand in it. I am a pariah because I know the truth and they will do anything to make sure that people shun me so I can not tell them the truth.
My brother killed my father.
Since then I have battled with alcohol. Because I can’t quite believe it.
My father was in hospital with terminal cancer. On G Ward of all places (Solzhenitsyn anyone?). I sat by my father’s bed all day every day for three weeks.
My mother did not visit. She does not like death. She is probably dying now.
My brother visited twice. One to be with my father. The next he was dead.
